How I said it… How you heard it! :)

When ever we say something, there is usually some emotion associated with it.
For example – our statements could be happy, sad, full of excitement, resentment or fear.
Our words could be mischievous, loving, harsh, rude, gentle, informative or blunt.
We could make a point directly or indirectly.

And at times, we may talk by remaining silent! 🙂

In order for our message to not get garbled or misunderstood, it is important for the other person to understand the emotion behind the dialogue also.

When we meet new people, we take time to understand their ways of talking, expressing, appreciating, denying or arguing. If we are able to build bridges and not walls, we become friends! However, if the message is interpreted in a wrong way, a lot of time and effort goes into correcting it.

The lower our ego levels are and the more accepting we are of any situation, the easier it is to understand other people.

Once, you understand what they are saying and why they are saying it – what is the motto behind the conversation – things become clearer.

Let’s take an example. There are two people who are very hardworking. They are working on the same project and want it to be successful. Every time they talk about a process improvement on the project, there can be agreement or discord. However, as long as the purpose is clear, they can reach a conclusion. They can brainstorm ideas and discuss the pros and cons.
Once the ego barrier is broken, the purpose is clear in the minds of all people and things move further.

Incomplete or Unending Conversations exist, when there is no conclusion and no radical decision can be reached ‘together’ by all counterparts.

There are hundreds of books written on communicating effectively. And, all of them have many things in common. If it’s important for a speaker to share his thought with the exact emotion, it is also the job of the listener to interpret it with the same exact emotion.

Communication is a two way street and if it’s purposeful, it can get a lot of work done magically!

There is a famous hindi quote by a very famous writer, Kabir: (English translation follows!)

ऐसी वाणी बोलिए, मन का आपा खोय |

औरन को शीतल करे, आपहु शीतल होय ||

Speak in words so sweet, that fill the heart with joy
Like a cool breeze in summer, for others and self to enjoy.

 

You may now think, “How I said it and how you heard it!” 🙂 .. Have fun! 😉

Silent moments with myself…

Since childhood, I never used to take afternoon naps. I know a lot of people, who prefer taking rest in the afternoon, especially on weekends. All my family members did too and I would just sit near a window, with a book in my hand.

Silent afternoons are time for me to think and spend quality time with myself.

In today’s world, everything is fast – fast foods, fast trains, fast internet, faster technology! We are all running behind something through out the day. Sometimes it’s even difficult to realize how weeks come and go. People now spend less quality time with their families and more with their chores or electronic gadgets.

I was reading an article that said: “Spend your weekends the way people used to spend their time in 1920’s ——– Stay away from technology, read a book, go for a walk, pamper yourself, listen to music, go to the library etc. However, today, it’s unimaginable for people to stay away from the internet for too long.

When I spend silent moments with myself, I think of what has happened, what is happening and what I plan to do. I revisit my plans, big and small, and try to see where I stand. (Small plans like buying nick nacks for the house, organizing the house, watering the plants and so on…. big plans like achieving a career goal, following my dreams, helping my family with their goals….

Silent moments make you realize that you are alive. They make you feel present in the moment.

Silent moments can sometimes make you feel lonely, but they also provide an opportunity to be your own companion.

These moments are precious since they may not last long, considering the fact that life will drag you again — into its unending idiosyncrasies, and you won’t have an option but to surrender.

Once you get comfortable with silence, you build a very good relationship with yourself. You become aware of your self conscience. You learn to accept yourself. Your goals become more clear and you are more aligned with your own self.

You believe in yourself. You analyze and comprehend things better.

I read that, listening to the same songs over and over again and memorizing them channelizes your mind. In the same way, silent moments channelize our energies — they help us deal with stress and noise in life.

When did you last spend silent moments with yourself and enjoyed them? What did you achieve from those moments?

Find a balance among the noise and the silence that life offers…. It’s crucial for the well being of our mind and our spirit….! and ….Then you will feel, that silent moments with yourself …are not as silent as you thought!