People who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind….

Every time I feel I’ve grown up and can now handle relationships better…. life presents some new lessons to learn and some new observations for me to take note of! (in an absolutely new way)

Long time ago I read that, “You can not be successful in life, unless you contribute to the society through your work”. Man is a social being. Even during the stone age, when trading started, you could only get some thing, if you exchanged it for some thing else in return.

Let’s consider a hawker or a vendor —– he tries to sell things to earn a living and to get some financial profit —- however, he is also indirectly benefiting others in the process – by fulfilling their needs.

Now consider a vendor who gets up in the morning, opens his store and starts giving out everything for free.
Everyday he wakes up and does the same thing……He will soon go bankrupt.
And even then…. there is no guarantee that people will come back and help him. After all it was his own decision to give out things for free…

The vendor has to care for himself and his family to avoid getting bankrupt. He has to open his store, sell things at a profit, occasionally give out deals for free and earn a living…… In the process, he benefits others as well.

So, you can not benefit yourself without benefiting others AND you can not benefit others without benefiting yourself. It’s a two way relationship.

Now the question is…. whom do you serve for free and whom do you serve for a price or a purpose? 

If you have only one shirt that you want to give away …..and you have two friends who need that shirt, whom would you choose?
U will have to choose one no matter what.

Does that make you less worthy in the eyes of the other friend? Does that mean the other person will no longer remain your friend?

And what if the friend to whom you gave the shirt, actually betrays you. Did giving him the shirt really make him stay….in spite of all you did for him? —- NO

People who want to stay – WILL stay….no matter whether you do something for them or not.

People who don’t want to stay – WILL not stay….no matter what so ever you do for them.

Count your friends…your blessings…the people who really care for u…in spite of the fact that you don’t do a whole lot for them. They are just by your side always.

These people wouldn’t mind the annoying things you do and would stick by your side. (Even if you do nothing for them)

People who mind… especially when you are unable to give them something in return….are probably with you for a purpose. And as soon as the purpose will be over, they will be gone…..forever.

People who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Are you really valuing the people who matter and who are with you unconditionally?

Fill yourself with love….!

In order to give out love, you need to fill your own self with love.

How do we fill ourselves with love? – By not having negative feelings about anything or anyone.

Is it that simple? – Yes, it is

Just like we need food and water to replenish our energy, we need good positive thoughts to replenish our heart and mind. We need to feel good about ourselves in order to make others feel good about themselves.

Filling ourselves with love requires courage – courage to ignore the things which do not hold any value in our life.

If you go to a party and someone comments about the way you look, the way you talk etc etc, it is up to you to take that negatively or neutrally.

It’s important to stay neutral and keep looking forward, in spite of any tough circumstances.

Filling yourself with love requires forgiveness, hope and dreams. In order to do this, you have to find simple pleasures of life and live them happily.

Everytime something disturbs you or makes you weak, it is important to take responsibility for that emotion and replace it with love.

Too much self love is also not good. If you are full of love, you need to share it with other people.

Give them compliments, help them in their chores, guide them to succeed, forgive them no matter what, accept them the way they are, be patient with them, try to read their emotions and minds, communicate with them, be open, wish well for everyone even if they are not good to you – Be thankful for being alive and make them feel happy to be alive.

Replenishment is the essence of love. Love likes to flow. It does not like to stay in one place and become stagnant. Its like water – pure, transparent, fluid.

Fill yourself with love each moment by doing what you like, doing what makes you love life – And encourage others to do what they are good at.

Live life lovingly.

Career or Success?

It may sound ironic but it’s true – “Your career need not be the key to your success.”

Career is something we choose to pursue, in order to earn a living. People who are able to get into their ‘dream careers’ are lucky, but the ratio is very less.

Career decisions may be influenced by circumstances, family pressure, social standing, academic grades and several other things. For some, career is not a choice but a responsibility. People may or may not get successful in what they pursue as a career.

However, it’s important to understand that success may not always be driven out of your career choices.

Success is a state of mind – It can have many definitions – Being popular, being wealthy, getting liked by everyone, being content, being healthy or being able to fulfill the needs of the family and so on.

A lot of people pursue side businesses (besides their main careers) and become more successful in them. Many people get lucky in winning lotteries and consider that as success.

If a person is in a particular job role, should he stop looking at other avenues of being successful? For example – pursuing a hobby, starting a side business, doing charity work etc.

Doesn’t this imply that we all should be flexible to take up different roles and see what makes us most content and most successful?

I am always impressed by people who are multi-talented. For example – They may be engineers but pursuing a cooking course alongside. Isn’t it amazing to see how flexible they are with life and the possibilities it offers?

Before trying various options, it is important to define what success means to you and how important are the roles besides your main career stream.

Keep your eyes and ears open and look out for your dream role! – A hobby, a passion! – Plan to pursue it. You may have to plan your finances and time accordingly. But, we have only one life – it’s now or never! Do what you like and see if you want to keep doing it…!

Be flexible, be energetic, spread enthusiasm and inspire people! Be successful in what you choose to be ‘success’ for you!!

And just when I was writing this article, one of my colleagues came to my desk and told me about all the work she has been doing besides her main job. She takes writing classes, song writing classes, travels for conferences and a lot more! Wow!
I told her, that her words are an inspiration for me and many others as well.

Success is not necessarily driven out of your career!

Maturity of mind… Maturity of Soul

Just thought of penning down some thoughts about maturity today. It’s not that I think, I am mature enough to write about ‘Maturity’. I just believe that I can write something sensible today based on my experiences. 🙂

It’s funny how as kids, we long to grow up into adults. We long to go to college, meet new people, have fun. We believe that growing up is fun. It’s funnier how after becoming adults, we long to be kids again and go back to our precious old childhood days!

At every stage of life, we think we are more mature than what we were an year ago. We also run into new experiences everyday and realize there’s still so much to learn!

Here are some generic definitions of maturity:

When someone can take care of his physical and emotional well being.
When someone can support his family.
When someone gets a job.
When someone is not disheartened easily and is strong enough to handle life’s struggles.
When someone can distinguish between good and bad.
When someone knows how to behave in public.
When someone can judge life situations….
Or when someone realizes that there is no end to this list of definitions….
Or when someone realizes that there is always something left to learn…
Or when someone realizes it’s ok to be yourself sometimes…
Or when someone realizes its important to unwind in life…
…..Or when someone realizes he’d like to relive his life just one more time… in a completely different way!
Alright, We are back to square one.

Maturity can be found in the eyes of a wife, whose husband is going to fight a war. It can also be seen in the tears of a child who gives away his favorite toy to his closest friend. It can also be seen in the heart of a girl, who decides to walk away from someone she loved and it can be seen in the hope of a parent who prays for his child’s recovery.

Maturity is nothing big. It’s just believing that there may be even bigger things ahead in life!
Maturity may even be defined as, knowing when to hurt someone and when not to hurt someone. It’s sometimes too much to handle and sometimes, it’s just not enough!

Let’s not try to be mature all the time. Let’s just be willing to learn from our mistakes and more importantly forgive ourselves, soon after committing those mistakes.

Let’s not judge or critique ourselves or others on the maturity scale but rather spend time living every moment, every experience, every mistake, every achievement and every struggle of life.

Let’s not spend time comparing….who’s more sensible, who’s more mature, who’s more intelligent….Let’s just live and let live….each person in his own sensible/silly way! …

Lets just live as enlightened souls who are ready to be enlightened even more! I think we all are mature! 😉

Silent moments with myself…

Since childhood, I never used to take afternoon naps. I know a lot of people, who prefer taking rest in the afternoon, especially on weekends. All my family members did too and I would just sit near a window, with a book in my hand.

Silent afternoons are time for me to think and spend quality time with myself.

In today’s world, everything is fast – fast foods, fast trains, fast internet, faster technology! We are all running behind something through out the day. Sometimes it’s even difficult to realize how weeks come and go. People now spend less quality time with their families and more with their chores or electronic gadgets.

I was reading an article that said: “Spend your weekends the way people used to spend their time in 1920’s ——– Stay away from technology, read a book, go for a walk, pamper yourself, listen to music, go to the library etc. However, today, it’s unimaginable for people to stay away from the internet for too long.

When I spend silent moments with myself, I think of what has happened, what is happening and what I plan to do. I revisit my plans, big and small, and try to see where I stand. (Small plans like buying nick nacks for the house, organizing the house, watering the plants and so on…. big plans like achieving a career goal, following my dreams, helping my family with their goals….

Silent moments make you realize that you are alive. They make you feel present in the moment.

Silent moments can sometimes make you feel lonely, but they also provide an opportunity to be your own companion.

These moments are precious since they may not last long, considering the fact that life will drag you again — into its unending idiosyncrasies, and you won’t have an option but to surrender.

Once you get comfortable with silence, you build a very good relationship with yourself. You become aware of your self conscience. You learn to accept yourself. Your goals become more clear and you are more aligned with your own self.

You believe in yourself. You analyze and comprehend things better.

I read that, listening to the same songs over and over again and memorizing them channelizes your mind. In the same way, silent moments channelize our energies — they help us deal with stress and noise in life.

When did you last spend silent moments with yourself and enjoyed them? What did you achieve from those moments?

Find a balance among the noise and the silence that life offers…. It’s crucial for the well being of our mind and our spirit….! and ….Then you will feel, that silent moments with yourself …are not as silent as you thought!