Maturity of mind… Maturity of Soul

Just thought of penning down some thoughts about maturity today. It’s not that I think, I am mature enough to write about ‘Maturity’. I just believe that I can write something sensible today based on my experiences. 🙂

It’s funny how as kids, we long to grow up into adults. We long to go to college, meet new people, have fun. We believe that growing up is fun. It’s funnier how after becoming adults, we long to be kids again and go back to our precious old childhood days!

At every stage of life, we think we are more mature than what we were an year ago. We also run into new experiences everyday and realize there’s still so much to learn!

Here are some generic definitions of maturity:

When someone can take care of his physical and emotional well being.
When someone can support his family.
When someone gets a job.
When someone is not disheartened easily and is strong enough to handle life’s struggles.
When someone can distinguish between good and bad.
When someone knows how to behave in public.
When someone can judge life situations….
Or when someone realizes that there is no end to this list of definitions….
Or when someone realizes that there is always something left to learn…
Or when someone realizes it’s ok to be yourself sometimes…
Or when someone realizes its important to unwind in life…
…..Or when someone realizes he’d like to relive his life just one more time… in a completely different way!
Alright, We are back to square one.

Maturity can be found in the eyes of a wife, whose husband is going to fight a war. It can also be seen in the tears of a child who gives away his favorite toy to his closest friend. It can also be seen in the heart of a girl, who decides to walk away from someone she loved and it can be seen in the hope of a parent who prays for his child’s recovery.

Maturity is nothing big. It’s just believing that there may be even bigger things ahead in life!
Maturity may even be defined as, knowing when to hurt someone and when not to hurt someone. It’s sometimes too much to handle and sometimes, it’s just not enough!

Let’s not try to be mature all the time. Let’s just be willing to learn from our mistakes and more importantly forgive ourselves, soon after committing those mistakes.

Let’s not judge or critique ourselves or others on the maturity scale but rather spend time living every moment, every experience, every mistake, every achievement and every struggle of life.

Let’s not spend time comparing….who’s more sensible, who’s more mature, who’s more intelligent….Let’s just live and let live….each person in his own sensible/silly way! …

Lets just live as enlightened souls who are ready to be enlightened even more! I think we all are mature! 😉

Pamper yourself… you’re worth it!

At least one weekend out of a few weekends, take a good break and pamper yourself. Just seclude yourself from the rest of the world and take care of your body and your thoughts.

Your body serves you throughout your life. How much time do you spend giving it the essential nutrients? When did you last sit next to a pool with a book in your hand or took a bubble bath? When did you lie down on a beach? When did you last look at the stars?

Once we develop a good relationship with ourselves and our mind, it responds to us better. If our body is happy and relaxed, we can feel our blood circulation. Every heart beat is more resonant and rhythmic. We understand our feelings and emotions better. We feel happy that we are alive.

Everyone needs such weekends to relax, calm down and live each breath.

No matter how wealthy you may be, if your mind and body are not happy, you are unhealthy!

I believe that once you have a stable job and are content with your career, it’s important to also focus on your health. The meaning, value, level and definition of contentment varies for different people but it is essential to be content at some point in life.

Because if you are not content… you will always be running behind something….and you will never get a chance to relish what you already have.

Pampering yourself is being content with yourself for that moment and being thankful for this life.

I read that when ever you are angry or upset, close your eyes and imagine still water… calm, clear and peaceful. Imagine that you’re sitting next to a lake and try to live that dream in your mind.

Life is too short and before you realize its worth… it just moves on…

Take out time…pamper yourself……love yourself….. You’re truly worth it!

Silent moments with myself…

Since childhood, I never used to take afternoon naps. I know a lot of people, who prefer taking rest in the afternoon, especially on weekends. All my family members did too and I would just sit near a window, with a book in my hand.

Silent afternoons are time for me to think and spend quality time with myself.

In today’s world, everything is fast – fast foods, fast trains, fast internet, faster technology! We are all running behind something through out the day. Sometimes it’s even difficult to realize how weeks come and go. People now spend less quality time with their families and more with their chores or electronic gadgets.

I was reading an article that said: “Spend your weekends the way people used to spend their time in 1920’s ——– Stay away from technology, read a book, go for a walk, pamper yourself, listen to music, go to the library etc. However, today, it’s unimaginable for people to stay away from the internet for too long.

When I spend silent moments with myself, I think of what has happened, what is happening and what I plan to do. I revisit my plans, big and small, and try to see where I stand. (Small plans like buying nick nacks for the house, organizing the house, watering the plants and so on…. big plans like achieving a career goal, following my dreams, helping my family with their goals….

Silent moments make you realize that you are alive. They make you feel present in the moment.

Silent moments can sometimes make you feel lonely, but they also provide an opportunity to be your own companion.

These moments are precious since they may not last long, considering the fact that life will drag you again — into its unending idiosyncrasies, and you won’t have an option but to surrender.

Once you get comfortable with silence, you build a very good relationship with yourself. You become aware of your self conscience. You learn to accept yourself. Your goals become more clear and you are more aligned with your own self.

You believe in yourself. You analyze and comprehend things better.

I read that, listening to the same songs over and over again and memorizing them channelizes your mind. In the same way, silent moments channelize our energies — they help us deal with stress and noise in life.

When did you last spend silent moments with yourself and enjoyed them? What did you achieve from those moments?

Find a balance among the noise and the silence that life offers…. It’s crucial for the well being of our mind and our spirit….! and ….Then you will feel, that silent moments with yourself …are not as silent as you thought!

Growing old and Growing up.

Okay… so I don’t like growing up. It’s a fact. Well… tell me one person who likes it anyways … 😛 🙂

Show me a person who says, “Growing old makes me very happy!”

Growing old is not in our control but ‘growing up’ is. I really like parents who spend a lot of time with their kids. I saw a picture of a lady who dressed up on halloween along with her daughter so that both of them could have fun. Shall we say that the mom has not grown up? She is acting too young for her age? Can we not appreciate the fact that she has given up all inhibitions, just to keep her daughter happy?

Of course, other people might laugh at her but those people might laugh at her grown up acts too!

Have you ever wondered why children learn things so quickly? A kid imitates others and can even pick up different languages very quickly. The same kid after turning into an adult may have difficulty learning a new language.

In order to learn, you need to have the heart of a child and the brain of an adult. A heart that is open to learning new things, a heart that is ready to experiment, explore…break things, make things and not get disappointed or disheartened.
At the same time, you need to have a brain of an adult to interpret things, process them and save some in your memory.

Kids tend to forget things easily. We do not remember everything from our childhood. However, as adults, we can retain and process information.

Albert Einstein said : “Never memorize something that you can look up!”

Now imagine, if you could explore life and take note of every good thing you came across – a unique flower, a different kind of bird, a new language, an artistic creation, a beautiful poem, a difficult word, a new place, some beautiful clouds, a beautiful rainbow, unique architecture, beautiful handicrafts….. and so on… and if you could save those little memories somewhere…in a book, a diary, a journal or in your mind…. Wouldn’t you be proud of your collection? Proud of what all you have learned and discovered? It’s not that hard… if you find time to do it…!

In order to be open to discovery, you have to be willing to learn like a child. Life is very large and you can never grow up to be larger than life! You will always remain a small little tiny winy particle on earth.

You will grow up…and will have to understand the complications of life — troubles, quarrels, ego issues, money matters, sorrows, stresses, weaknesses, career, politics, responsibilities…..but in your heart… remain a child who wants to learn…and explore….beyond these imperfections…

Join an MBA program or a painting class or a hobby… Do something that you like…something you’ll be proud of later in your life….

Growing up means you stop believing in fairies and miracles and the little joys of life.
I still do….so I don’t grow up! 🙂

Here’s a quote from Walt Disney…. “Why do we have to grow up? I know more adults who have the children’s approach to life. They’re people who don’t give a hang what the Joneses do. You see them at Disneyland every time you go there. They are not afraid to be delighted with simple pleasures, and they have a degree of contentment with what life has brought – sometimes it isn’t much either.” – Walt Disney”

Deal with Pain (asap)

Pain in any form (physical or mental) is not good for our body and our life. It is important to deal with pain as soon as possible, but before that, it is even more important to recognize the pain in our lives.

If some activities, things or people have given us pain, they are bound to give us pain again. There are no ifs and buts to it. However, a lot of us expect things to change and believe that we can live with pain. That’s an incorrect notion.

I have also realized that pain if not controlled, always grows bigger. At no point, does it get smaller.

For example, many people ignore small things about their health. When those issues turn into big pain areas, that’s when they actually take action. If we deal with a problem when it is small, we can stop it from getting big.

Our body is the center of ‘our universe’. We hurt ourselves many times by letting other things hurt us.

Pain can be physical or mental. If someone puts us down or makes us feel, we are not capable enough, we are pained. If someone does not understand us or makes fun of us, that is pain too.

There was a little girl. When she used to go to school, people would always make fun of her. They criticized her habits and her way of thinking. She never responded back. She kept the pain inside her. When she grew big, one of her friends told her that: “When people make fun of you or hurt you, tell them politely that you are being hurt. Tell them in front of others so that they realize their mistake. Deal with the problem before it gets bigger.” She started doing so and her pain was reduced.

How many pain areas of our life are we not dealing with yet? Are we scared to accept and express our emotions? Are we wounded but trying to hide it. Confront your weaknesses and the people who make you feel weak.

Focus on your health and well being. Deal with pain asap and do not let it grow any bigger. Take out time for your mental and physical health. Do not overburden yourself with other things that you forget your own self.

Feel it. Express it. Relieve it. But do not live with it.

Life.. There’s always something left to do!

Whether it’s work, home, friends, family, children or any other aspect of your life, there is always something left to do! The house could have been cleaner, shopping could have been done last week, reading time could have been longer and work could have been more fulfilling.

There are things we could have done better and there are also things we could have done worse and it wouldn’t have mattered.

Our efforts have to directed in a way which makes most sense. Put in efforts where you are expecting maximum returns. Do not put in efforts where there are no returns.

How do we measure returns?  – Returns add value to our life. They help us grow intellectually or financially.

What is the point of investing time and efforts in an area that will not help us in any way? We may choose to do so, if we want to waste our time and efforts or maybe just for fun, but we have to understand that we will not get any returns. This also reduces the pressure and the expectation that ‘I have to get returns from this venture’.

We can only get good returns if we spend our time and energy wisely.

You can take hundreds of time management classes and seminars but the decision to take up a task or not, is very personal. The choices vary for every individual.

Something that makes sense to me, may not make sense to you at all.

We have 24 hours in a day and we only have three areas to focus on:

Home & Family
Work & Learning
Fun

Fun will not give returns but it is important to replenish our energies.

I am a perfectionist, so when I pick up a task, I really want to do it well. Sometimes, I do not move onto another task because of that first task at hand.

I read somewhere that after every hour of work, you need one minute of silence. I also read that if you work on something for half an hour and then try to shift your focus to another task and later come back to the first task, your mind gets to learn new things.

Train your mind so it can shift its focus on different things throughout the day. There will always be something left to do in every area but as long as all the areas are at par and none is neglected, a balance is maintained.

It is important to maintain balance in terms of people. Who holds most value for you and who does not? Are you spending your energies on a section of people who may not be there in your life the next week?
Are you giving maximum importance to your family?

People who help you grow intellectually or morally hold maximum value.
People, especially friends whom you meet for fun help you replenish your energies.
People who do not have any role in your life – and do not add any value to your life – should not add any worries or concerns to your life. Or rather, you should not be worried or concerned about them.

Filter your tasks and the people in your life, to make the most out of the resources at hand.

There is always something left to do and probably that’s the way life should be.

Common Good

Sometimes, I think there’s so much in common amongst people in all parts of the globe.

We all breathe, laugh, cry, sing, dance, wink, love, learn, earn, eat, blink, hope, wish, dream, talk, walk and the list goes on and on.

We all have families, friends or people who care for us. We all need support at different times in our life. We all succeed, we all fail.

We have different ways of doing things but the purpose is same. We express in different languages but the meaning is the same.

I saw a movie where a french guy falls in love with an Indian girl. They meet in an english speaking class. There are moments in the movie where the girl expresses her emotions in hindi and the guy speaks french. Yet they pretend to understand each other! It’s not practical but it’s a beautiful feeling!

I am a people person and do not hesitate talking to strangers. I think we can learn something new from everyone.When I look at a new person, I see him/her as a person and do not wonder, which country or state, he/she belongs to or what language he/she speaks or what he/she looks like.

When you judge people, do not judge them by the way they breathe, laugh, cry, sing, dance, wink, love…
In fact, do not judge them at all.

Judge yourself on a scale of humanity. That is the only valid scale in the world and the only thing, which makes other people feel happy that they are humans.

Judge how much good you are doing in this world. What will be left when you are gone. What will people remember you as.

Think of the common worldwide good – common worldwide success.

You’ve lost it! ;)

The moment you think… you’re not peaceful… or you’re not happy… the peace and happiness that exists within you is lost!

The moment you think you are less than others or do not have the ability to succeed… you’ve lost the power and motivation to succeed….

“Moment”… is a small droplet in the ocean of “Time” …. but isn’t this all we have?

A moment has the power to change your life! Your destiny! How can we underestimate the power of the moment??
While you think you are not capable of achieving your goals… you’ve already lost some precious moments…

While you’re busy thinking what others are doing, you’ve lost the moments in which you could have done something.

Each moment… Think that you are peaceful, happy and content.
You are living just for this moment…. as it will never come again…

Let me share a small story: I met a person in the office cafetaria one day. He was constantly tapping his feet and browsing on his phone while the cashier was collecting his credit card and swiping it on the machine. He seemed very restless and did not stand still. I did not know who he was. I was standing behind him and asked him, “You seem very busy and in a rush” He said…”I’m a very busy person. I have lots to do. I have to do something right now. I can not stand idle. I have to keep myself busy.”

I had a little smile on my face. I said…”Well… you could just stand and think.”

And then the cashier gave him his credit card and he left….(in a rush) 🙂

I think …he was trying to over-utilize his present moments… 🙂

Spend your moments wisely… and more importantly …peacefully… Be at peace…be content…be hopeful…for the next moment…
Plan for good… Plan for a better future.. a better moment…

I was driving back from work one day and while taking the exit, the car in front of me stopped suddenly..  I stopped too and then the car behind me stopped! It was scary for a moment…..but…it happens…The car in front of me had a sticker on it.. “Jesus listens” 🙂

These moments make you realize.. Life is too short…. Its just a collection of moments. Its a package. Its like an empty bag and it’s up to you, what you fill in that bag!

Fill each moment with colors, hopes, dreams, excitement, fun, joy, peace, love…. Fill them so that you’re happy… each moment.

The reason I named this article.. “You’ve lost it! ” is because…. Next time, when you are not happy or peaceful… think how many moments you’re losing…. Moments that could change your life…

One more small peace of advice.. Don’t be angry for too long.. whether its your fault or not.. it’s not worth it…! It’s just not worth it! Saying sorry never makes anyone small. Not saying sorry (when it is really not your fault) does not make anyone big. 🙂

Don’t let life say to you…. “Sorry dude.. you’ve lost it! ” 😉 🙂

A better plan….

Give me a chance to be born again
This time my life won’t go in vain
I’ll do all that, I couldn’t do this time
I want to sing, an absolutely new rhyme
I want to believe, I can be a better soul
I can do more good, like never before
I can smile more often and cry a little less
I want to play other games, like tennis and chess
Its not too tough, I know I can
Please give me another life, I have a better plan….

Roles…..

I’ve read that “people play roles in our lives”. At one time, I used to strongly believe in this. Probably when I was in school or college, I believed that people played roles in my life. Somehow, I don’t believe in it now.

I feel, “we” choose who we want to have in our life and we ourselves decide the role they are going to play.

We sometimes don’t let people play the role they want to play. At other times, we even meet people who don’t essentially play any roles in our lives.

As life moves on, we are required to transition to the practical side of life. (Bills, Grocery, work , family needs, money) It becomes necessary to deal with these things. No matter how hard you try to run away from them. We lose touch with friends. Everyone moves on, doing their own chores.

How does the role play fit in our life then? Are these temporary roles? People who used to very important at one point of time, may not be so important today. How do we measure the importance of a role? Is it the number of times we talk to them, call them, miss them? Is it the effect they have on our lives? Or is it the fact that there presence is crucial to our life (At a certain point in time)

“Roles”….this word held a lot of meaning for me at one point. Today, it doesn’t.

Today, I identify with only one role. The role that I have played in my life. The paths that I have taken at various points in life. The role that I would like to play in my life in future.

I believe in God and Destiny. I don’t know if god writes our “roles” or gives us the choice to write our role ourselves. I don’t know if he checks like a movie director, “Would he/she be comfortable with the role I am giving him/her?”

Sometimes, we don’t even know what impact our role will have on other people’s lives. Its not transparent. Its hidden. The only thing we can be sure of knowing is: What role did I play in my life and how it impacted me?

Experiment with roles….give yourself the role of an artist, a teacher, a musician, a lover, a singer, a sports person, a partner, a parent, a child, a philosopher….. See which role you fit in best…and then PLAY THAT ROLE! Since you play that best, it will have maximum impact on your life and other people’s lives. That’s all you can and should identify with.

You don’t have to play every role perfectly. But try to play at least one role perfectly. All roles that you play may be small roles but they ultimately do add to the bigger picture.

Don’t worry about who/what else is impacted by your role. As long as you know you are playing the best role you can! That makes your life worth it!… That role WILL surely make you happy.