Tests of values

I heard something yesterday and was wondering how true is it? It said, “Every small act that you do is a reflection of your values and not necessarily an exertion of control”. I also saw a video about locus of control, ie. how some of us have an internal locus of control and take responsibility for our actions, successes and failures, while others have an external locus of control and tend to blame their failures on others or on fate.

Aren’t all these things pretty questionable? Most of us try to have good values like respect, honesty, trust and so on, but still do all our actions reflect those values at all times and if not then why?? What sometimes drives us towards actions that are not necessarily in sync with our values.

I think the only answer to this question is the evolving mind! Our minds are continuously evolving and even though our values may be constant but there are ripple effects ie. sometimes unknowingly or unintentionally we tend to move away from our values and at other times, we stick to them. The reason probably is growth.

Everyone wants to grow and everyone wants a lot of good things in life. If we don’t create these ripples of thoughts and actions, our life will be like standing water. These ripple effects create waves or motion and that circulates energy. That is why, we need to understand these ripples and in spite of them happening, constantly try to remain in sync with our values.

Values like being nice to people no matter what, values like being responsible and hard working, values like being selflessly devoted to God and the world. Values like giving your best self at all times…

I know it can be hard sometimes to stick to these values with everyone at all times but those are the tests we need to undergo. Tests of values!

Are u nice to people even when they are rude to u? Are u patient with kids? Do u lend a listening ear to everyone? Do u respect everyone no matter what stature or title they have?

and most importantly, do u do this at all times?

If not, then do u reflect on your own behavior sometimes and try to improve it, each minute, each day, everyday?

There can be a question now that – Why should we stick to our values at all times? Won’t that create standing water?

Well, imagine each ripple of thought in your mind and imagine it having a center from where it starts. That center is the value.

If we create ripples with good values, good actions will be inculcated. If we create ripples with bad values, bad actions will be inculcated.

Hence, it is truly important to constantly try and pass the test of values and be nice to everyone, no matter what. It’s hard but with patience, it is possible. 🙏

Let’s all try to create positive ripples in life and stick to the positive values, as much as we can!

Good luck to me and to you as we continue these tests in life! 😊

Journey….!

Every person has a different journey – different struggles, different milestones, different successes and different failures. Nobody can understand clearly another person’s life journey, no matter how hard they try. However, what’s really important is to empathize and appreciate that everyone, all of us, have been through tough times. Many people tend to complain that their journey was harder than others, they tend to give up and not have the will to try again. However, it’s extremely important or rather crucial to keep trying no matter what circumstances you face in life.

It’s important to believe in a future, in a life that will be close to perfect. It’s important to be thankful and positive at the same time. It’s important to believe in the power of light! Even if you are lost in the dark, you have to believe in the power of light!

No matter how many religious or spiritual books you read, you will always find one thing common, “Believe in yourself and do your karma”. Believe that you still have a lot to give to this world. Believe that you are unique, special and god’s hand is always on your head. There must be a reason why each one of us is inherently unique and that is because we all have some unique talents, a little something that makes us special, powerful and strong. It maybe music, art, craft or writing 🙂

Just let that light shine bright! I remember when I was a kid, I learned a song, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna make it shine”.

And I also believe in the quote from the Bhagavad Gita,

“Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana, Ma Karma Phala Hetur, Bhur Ma Te Sango Stv Akarmani”

Which means, “You have every right to work, but not expecting the fruits out of it. Let the focus be not on the fruits and never be inactive.”

Communication

Communication happens when two people TALK to each other in any of the DEFINED languages of the world. They verbally exchange words and express their feelings to each other. That’s when REAL communication happens.

A lot of times, we don’t listen to the other people, we just ASSUME what they are trying to tell us. We have some thoughts in our mind and we feel this is the reality that they are trying to say. NO…. NO…NO… NO…. Absolutely no…. Whenever you are in doubt…. CLARIFY…. ASK…. QUESTION…. TALK…. THROW OUT SOME MEANINGFUL WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH for a “conversation”.

DONT ASSUME…. GET IT PROVED from the other person.

A lot of friendships and relationships fail because two people are not willing to TALK to each other. They keep things in their heart and just assume that the other person will READ THEIR MIND!

THIS CANNOT HAPPEN…. This is not humanly possible. Nobody can get into your brain and read your mind…. So please talk….

If you don’t want to lose a loved one from going away…. talk and stop them from going…. If you don’t want your child to feel bad about your anger… Talk and say sorry….. If you are grateful to someone for something…. say THANK YOU!!

Don’t be in a rush to keep the phone down all the time….. TALK…. Let the conversations be at ease rather than SILENT interpretations of “God knows what!!??!!”.

It’s important to express yourself and share your emotions….. especially as partners or even friends….. You have to talk.

If you don’t get the answer the first time, ask again…. Don’t let the other person lingering in an unknown place….

If you are taking a class and you don’t understand what the teacher taught you…. then ask…

Don’t feel shy…. coz if you don’t talk now… the moment will be gone and then later you will feel bad.

Say things like…. “I care for you or I’m there for you”… or “Good job”…. or ” You look awesome today”….

Say things to brighten up other people’s day…. Compliment them…. Be nice…. Be open minded….

Accept that everyone may not always agree with you and it’s ok…. You have to just let them be….

However, if you want to maintain the relationship….. then please please please TALK.

And don’t talk in y our mind….. TALK LOUDLY AND CLEARLY so the other person can hear you.

The more you talk and listen…. the more you learn….

If you need something, ASK. If you are in pain, SAY IT. If you are not happy, EXPRESS IT.

ARTICULATE all that you feel and don’t hesitate….

Your words will die inside of you without getting heard…. Give them Life…. TALK!!

Precious Souls

Today, I am deeply hurt and saddened with the news of the loss of precious children in the Texas shooting. Is there anything more inhuman than attacking these innocent children? Whoever is doing all of this in the name of money, power or even God, should die of shame. This is ruthless, shameful and cruel.

A society that boasts of developed economy and lavish skyscrapers should also realize that the souls of those precious children who were killed must be SCREAMING for justice. All of these kids must have been dreaming of a happy and prosperous life. Most of them would have turned out into respectable and responsible citizens of the society. BUT, their future was just snatched away from them. (For absolutely no fault of their own)

These children deserved a wonderful and bright childhood. These children deserved LIFE! Whoever is doing this – in many parts of the world – WHO GIVES U THE RIGHT TO DO THIS? You’re not GOD… you’re not CHANGE MAKERS…. you are ruthless and cruel people who have no right to live in this world.

Children are the future of this world…. they are so innocent that they don’t even ask for anything much…. they are just happy with whatever they get.

Children are the shining lights and miracles of this universe. Their smile brightens up everyone’s day.

Children are the best thing that ever happened in this world and ALL children in this world DESERVE a happy childhood and a good life.

Schools are institutions where values are taught, where everyone is motivated to make a difference in this world… to make it a better place for everyone.

Whoever is killing these kids….. their life wouldn’t have been anything if it weren’t for the schools and the education in this world.

For GOD’s SAKE… for the sake of humanity…. for the sake of PEACE….. STOP ALL THESE horrific incidents…. Just stop them. It’s not going to lead us to anywhere. It’s just going to DESTROY life for no reason.

I feel like those kids…. wherever they are…. must be screaming…. “WHAT WAS OUR FAULT? WHAT WRONG DID WE DO? WHY DID THEY KILL US?”….. Those kids’ souls must be pleading for justice.

Does it make any sense to kill these innocent kids? What wrong have they done?

Whoever these shooters are… should DIE of shame. They have rotten souls and dead minds. They are not humans…. they are monsters. They don’t deserve a right to live or even take a single breath.

IN THE NAME OF HUMANITY, IN THE NAME OF GOD OR WHOEVER YOU BELIEVE IN…… PLEASE LET CHILDREN LIVE…… Please don’t conduct these mass shootings. PLEASE LET THE KIDS BREATHE AND THRIVE IN THIS WORLD…… PLEASE.

Intangible benefits of work!

Today, I’ve been watching some videos by Barry Schwartz, who has written books like “WHY WE WORK!”

He gives an illustration of how the industrial revolution and the ideas of Adam Smith shaped capitalism and the current society and its behavior towards WORK.

He says that “Adam Smith believed that people are naturally lazy and will only work if they are given an incentive like a wage”. Further, he challenges that idea and says that this idea of Adam Smith is not necessarily true.

The reason why many people are dissatisfied at work inspite of getting wages is because they are actually looking for the “Intangibles” that work can offer.

Intangibles like “A word of appreciation”, “A summary of the impact you’ve made in someone’s life through your work” and so on and so forth.

The capitalist society makes us believe that we need to work for money where as the reality is that most of us are looking for a MEANING in our lives…. to be HELPFUL…. to be VALUABLE in others’ lives….

Do you remember the day you get your paycheck or do you remember the day when someone in your office came up to you and said….”What a great job you did!! and how much IMPACT you made in the office”…

Doesn’t the intangible make you feel more VALUED and INSPIRE you to work even more….

I also was thinking why we don’t see a lot of intangibles at work….

The reason is because we don’t give intangibles ourselves…. because they are intangibles….

How many times have you appreciated your co-workers or your bosses? How many times have you told people how much impact they have made in your lives!!??

These intangibles inspire others to move ahead… so BE GENEROUS in sharing these intangible words and tokens of appreciation with others….!

Believe me, they can really make someone’s day!!!

If you are reading this post and if I have made a difference in your life in some way… be generous and share the thought with me as well! It might just make my day!! 🙂

Life is imperfect!

Life is not perfect! No moment in life is absolutely perfect. Sometimes a family member doesn’t say what he should have said. Sometimes a kid does not behave the way he is ”supposed” to be…. Sometimes the time is not right or the circumstances are not right…

However, the more we learn to accept life with all its imperfections, the easier life becomes!

Acceptance of a situation in its most natural and real form is most important. Dont argue with ”What is”.

Try your best to make life better but before that accept the imperfections in life!

There will be absolutely no day in your life when your partner or your kids will say each word exactly as you’d like to hear it.

There can be no day in your life when everything will go exactly the way u want it to.

Life is not a puppet show…. its real… with real people having real emotions and this uncertainty of what will happen next…. makes u more curious and u want to go on…

If everything was written like a script, there would be no fun in life!

The factor of ”unknown” fills our life with curiosity, eagerness, learnings and looking forward to the next moment… no matter what!

When we accept our kids’ imperfections, our spouse’s imperfections…. we accept ourselves as imperfect too!

And its ok…. Life is meant to be that way…

Some days ur dog will fall sick…. some day your interview wont go well…. some day you will not be in the best of health…

But on other days…. u will feel absolutely healthy and happy and ready to rise and shine!!

Life always has a hope that … Keep moving…. the best is yet to come!!

Life is perfect with its imperfections!!

As long as there is a sine curve of heartbeat flowing, there will be ups and downs… coz when its a straight line…. its all over anyways!

Enjoy the imperfections….. Accept ur kids tantrums…. your partner’s mood swings….

Real life is not like social media pictures… all smiles and laughter.

I read that real life is messy …. full of stumbles…. highs and lows and thats what makes it worthwhile!!

Enjoy the mountains and the valleys while they last!! Enjoy your perfectly imperfect life!! ❤️

Schooling does not guarantee ‘intellect’.

When I think about intellect, I think about the decisive ability of the mind, the ability to choose the right path over the wrong path.

The reason why I feel schooling does not guarantee ‘intellect’ is because in school, kids are taught certain subjects to achieve certain grades. They are not questioned on their intellectual ability. They are not asked, “Do you want to do X or do you want to do Y?”

As a kid enters the school environment, he/she has to make a lot of choices. These choices are no different from life choices. The greatest teacher that is giving them the power to decide is LIFE and not just SCHOOL.

School is just one of the places where knowledge is shared…. knowledge about facts…things that we are aware of…. but WHAT TO DO with that knowledge…. is INTELLECT. And that cannot be taught.

Intellect comes with experience by making many different choices over and over again. When you take the wrong decisions, you realize the value of right decisions. When you make the wrong choices, you realize the value of right choices.

If you believe in yourself, you can always direct your mind in the RIGHT direction…. your intellect can lead you to the right places and the right decisions. But if you don’t believe in yourself and the “good path”, then you are bound to falter, you will be inclined to make the wrong choices , inspite of your wish to go on the right path.

Believe in yourself…. Trust yourself… Trust goodness… Trust the right deeds… Believe that good things WILL come back to you if you do good…. Trust this universe…. Then you will be able to CONTROL and GUIDE your intellect to always take the right decisions.

It’s not your school or your education that matters…. It’s your ability to GUIDE your mind in the right direction… No matter what… to make the RIGHT choices, inspite of many wrong and tempting options in front of you.

When you send your kids to school, don’t expect their intellect to get developed unless and until, they are forced into situations where they have to make the RIGHT CHOICES….

Studying History, Science or geography can give you the knowledge but not the intellect….

Intellect comes by REPEATEDLY making the right choices and the right decisions and sticking to your integrity, honesty, goodness and CORE Values.

Believe me no matter how good you are…. you can still be tempted to do the wrong thing every once in a while… That’s where you have to BE STRONG IN YOUR MIND…. and CHOOSE…. the right option.

You have to tell yourself that I will choose the righteous path…. even if it gives me less comfort or less money.

Grow your knowledge but also DEVELOP YOUR INTELLECT….

Every moment in life is a choice and making the right choices leads you to a good life….

CHOOSE your options wisely…. becuase that is true INTELLECTUAL POWER.

Service before self

When I was in school, I had heard this quote, ”Service before self”. At one point, I thought, I understood its meaning but now I feel, there is still so much to understand.

We all know that we have this one life and it’s upto us what we do with it. We could make it a meaningless pass time or we could make it a meaningful service – A service to mankind and every other living being on this planet. A service to help others succeed and do better in life. A service to those who are suffering. A service to help, to love, to create peace.

When we serve others, we tend to forget our sufferings, because we realize that there is so much that people are going through.

I try to do my bit of service in whatever way possible…I wish I could do more but I have daily responsibilities like a job, a family, a career, loans, expenses.

But I still feel like doing something more, to serve people in need. I honestly dont feel like announcing what I may be doing because I feel the best service is “To serve without any acknowledgement in return”….. ”To serve selflessly” and just enjoy the journey of selfless service.

I don’t know how many of us will have the time and the energy for selfless service, without expecting anything in return, without posting it on any social media channel, without announcing it to the world…. But trust me when I say that ….this kind of silent service will give you the most joy… the most fulfillment and peace and the most enlightenment.

Serve silently…. but do serve… in whatever way u can… whatever capacity u can…. for a few minutes or a few hours…. Just serve and just once, dont post it anywhere. Just have faith in your heart that your deeds have made this world a better place. And be happy with that thought!

Service before self… I am sure it means a lot more…. I will share as I discover its true, deep and real meaning…

Till then… Serve when u can and enjoy the service more than the acknowledgment! Enjoy the silent service to this world! Believe me, it will transform you from inside.

The best thing about life…!

You know what’s the best thing about life….. the greatest gift… the purest instinct……
that it lets you HEAL…

Take a moment… look back at your life and think of the moments when you had a tough time and then suddenly… one fine day…. You HEALED…

You healed out of all the suffering …. all the pains and saw a bright new day!

Surely…. at one point…. you didn’t know the path forward… you didn’t know how long it would take and how will you cope up with it…. but somewhere magically…. LIFE gave you the strength…. to move on… to continue marching forward… because it was HEALING you….

Almost all of us have healed from pain in one way or the other…. some have recovered from heartbreaks… some from financial problems …. some from health issues and everywhere we look around in life… in everyone’s life…. we see SO MUCH STRENGTH…. so much POWER and so much RECOVERY….

Recovery… healing… they may not sound very good…. but think of a person who is going through suffering…. For him/her… these words and magical….

So many people are waiting for that one day when they will heal…. when they will recover fully… when their pain will end…

And life has this repeating ability…. of HEALING EVERY SINGLE THING…. no matter how big or how small…. IT HEALS… either by curing it… or sometimes by ending it… but it heals…

And that is why…. Everything comes to an end eventually…. the pain… the suffering…the losses…and even the traumas….

We all have the power to heal…. sometimes through our words….sometimes through a hug… a touch or just by being there….. by listening…. accepting…. and passing on the strength…. in an invisible but profound way…!

Life is not something that is happening in my body or your body…. Life happens when two things or two people…. or two entities for that matter…. MEET…. CONNECT…. HELP each other…. and HEAL…..

Let’s all try to heal…. ourselves and others… as much as we can…

Let’s all try to be compassionate…. towards others and ourselves…

If something is giving you pain or has been giving you pain… Try to disconnect from it… in whatever way you can and HEAL….

Heal yourself… Heal others…

And as the song goes… Heal the world…Make it a better place… for you and for me ….and for the entire human race…!

May you all HEAL….and heal your loved ones too!

Best wishes always…

Cost of your peace of mind?

If you were to put a price tag on your own peace of mind… how much would that be?

Imagine that some day all your sorrows, all your troubles fade away and you spend peaceful time with your family each day and are content each moment… What would you give away for that to happen?

Probably your everything…. Correct?

A lot of times… a lot of people spend their entire lives collecting things… sometimes for themselves and sometimes just to show off to their friends…

With the invent of social media, personal lives have become living showpieces. They have become like ornaments of display. Even though out of the 500 social media friends, hardly anyone calls to check how you are doing. Even then…

The most prized possession any human being can ever possess is his good physical health and peace of mind. These things are absolutely priceless. They are more precious than diamonds or any other rare gem on this planet.

So while you are in a decent health condition without expecting too much help from anyone and you have a good family life with your loved ones…. be at peace. Cherish the calm and quiet that your mind experiences when you have both good physical health and mental peace.

Don’t run behind everything… Don’t run behind what others are running behind…. Your personal life is not a thing of display…

If you are able to spend a quiet and loving evening with your close family…. Close your eyes and just thank God for that safe space.

If your day passes by without running after what doesn’t even matter…. Be thankful!

If you don’t feel the need to gain appreciation by showing off your life to others… be thankful about the contentment that you are feeling within.

So many people would give their everything… just to be at peace…. To be content with life!

Be a person who is happy with whatever big or small life has given you! Be at peace. Do not compare. You are not going to get a trophy if you get 10000 likes on social media or even if you travel every part of the world…. People will still move on…

So value what you have…. instead of running behind what you don’t have or can’t have.

Value your peace… Cherish the freedom that you possess because of good health…

Focus on the positive things in your life and see them grow…

Strive to be at peace because there is nothing that can equate to the cost of peace of mind.